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Chase Roper
Chase performs stand-up comedy when there isn’t a global pandemic. He has written for Earwolf blog, LaughSpin, jokes for Life & Style Mag and Today Show Blog.
Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

When I was in the 8th grade, I went to Cedarcrest Junior High in a swank town called Spanaway, WA. Students’ birthdays were celebrated amongst their friends by finding them in the hallway and punching that person as many times to equal the number of years old they just turned. The onslaught would often occur at a bus stop, outside the school, or in passing through the halls. The blows could land softly in jest or with intent to bruise enough for the recipient to enjoy that birthday celebration long into the next week.

I vaguely remember teachers trying to…


In the wake of a viral tweet that erupted last week, I have received countless requests from customers of this monopoloid on how they can save money, lower their bills, get the best value, etc. Providing the absolute shortest answer possible, I recommend signing up for internet service ONLY and purchasing your own modem/router versus renting one from the company. Bare minimum. No other services. For those looking for more specific situations or other kinds of questions, continue the Q&A below.

Xfinity has a data cap of 1.2 terabytes. How do I avoid being charged for going over this limit…


Photo by Saad Prak on Unsplash

In March of 2020, Xfinity sent me home with my desk supplies, personal belongings, computer, monitor and earbuds. Covid-19 was raging and states were beginning to announce various levels of shut down. While we were assured it would likely only be a few months, our call center would be working from home for the foreseeable future. The situation felt dire and I was frightened about what this pandemic would do to me and my loved ones.

Comcast did make some sweeping changes at first to help both employees and customers. Wi-Fi Hotspots that were normally available only for customers were…


Photo by Christian Stahl on Unsplash

In our first apartment together, my wife Nicole and I had a neighbor just below us that we affectionately (and frustratingly) referred to as “Hammer Guy.” Every single day for 2 years, we would hear hammering below us. At any hour of day or night.

Hammering.

Sometimes, we could see into this person’s window from the street below while walking up to our building. We saw a man in the window. Ah, Hammer Guy.

One night, we rode the elevator back up after putting some clothes in the wash. We lived in a building with a community laundry room which…


Photo by Pixzolo Photography on Unsplash

My uncle Brad considers himself a chef of sorts. In his younger years, he served as a cook in the navy or at least that’s how it was explained to me by other relatives. I can testify (and I’m not sure why I’m being subpoenaed to court as a witness on this) that my uncle indeed loves cooking almost as much as loves only wearing a white t-shirt and his Fruit of the Looms briefs around the house when company is over. …

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